This is Har Nof, Yerushalayim. My home for the next ten months.I want to bury myself in bed and whimper.
The list of items I still need to buy is shrinking. I have thousands of shirts, more skirts than I could have even remotely conceived of, and I am positively swimming- no, drowning in socks. I still need a shoe-pocket, clothing hangers and shower slippers. And a bath mat. Oh G-d, I had completely forgotten about the bath mat.
My mother's penchant for list making would be painfully useful just now.
I can't decide which terrifies me more, the fact that I still have things to buy, or that I will soon have nothing left to do but pack. And leave.
I need to settle on books to bring. I'm still working my mind around that idea... which books, out of the hundreds in my house that I have read and loved, do I bring with me? Or rather, the question is more aptly phrased, which ones must I leave? Should I bring all six of the Harry Potter series? Is it traitorous not to when I am taking the whole of "Lord of the Rings"? Should I try new books, or take comforting favorites? "Series of Unfortunate Events" or Garth Nix? Steven Erickson or George RR Martin? Should it worry me that I haven't even considered bringing a single book that fall outside the realm of Fantasy? And where on earth am I going to keep them all?
Tonight's unhelpful image: I am standing at the mouth of a long, dark, smooth tunnel through which I am preparing to walk. It is utterly silent, except for the swarm of humming insects buzzing and clicking and whirring around my head, jostling me with constant reminders of a dozen things I have forgotten. But I don't know what they are saying, and I have no time to respond to them or meet the needs they are blaring. I just have to walk.
Do I walk?
3 comments:
Walk Walk Walk or rather run. The going is hard- getting there will be wonderful. And how amazing that your emotions can be so effectively noticed by you and noted to us- a rare and wonderful talent. I wish some of the young Israel bound students I know were more in touch with this big step in their lives but often being in touch is exactly what brings us doubt so-- some thoughts-
1) run and enjoy
2) Har Nof is fabulous You will meet loving and wonderful people
3) The seminary experience is truly a gift and I know you will see that soon
4) sometimes (and only sometimes) abandon deep thinking and delight in all that is around you
5) know how much we have enjoyed you in this blog world and will miss a special talent . See if you can find a way to update
6) Your family must be really sad
7) Take care, smile and Lhitratot!
Here's my two cents... if you bring those George R.R. Martin books you won't need any they take sooooo long to read.
And don't worry, there are book stores there too.
~G
Heaps of sympathy for the anxiety of new beginnings and the Unknown... but I and many others have survived it, and like all risks in life, grew from it as well. You know we're all rooting for you and expecting great things- I expect you to keep in touch, young lady, and look forward to our reunion in Yerushalayim IYH (10/10- 10/31- clear a spot for you and your classmates!!!)
Much love, pride, and affection,
MN
Post a Comment